Should I Marry Him?

Hello Madam Eya,

Thank God for the job God is using you to do. I'll prefer you hide my ID.
Please before I start this story, I'll like to let your readers know
that as it is now, I don't want to go ahead and
marry this man,
because I know 80% of the advice will be in the negative. The purpose
of this mail mainly, is to see if perhaps there is an off-chance of my
being together with this guy.

MY STORY:
Sometime in 2010, I met this man after Church, he had heard we are in
the same profession and approached me to say hi. He introduced himself
and gave me his card. At the time I was still in school, marriage
wasn't even in my plans. So I stuck the card in my wallet and promptly
forgot about him.

Fast forward 2 years later, I was searching for a job seriously and
came across his card in my wallet, and since he has his own office, I
decided to call him up in case there's an opening. He asked me to come
over and I did. His office is a small place, with a few people already
under him, so he told me there was no vacancy.

Since that reconnection, after Church he'll always say hello and one
particular sunday, decided to give me a ride home.
The man in question is 37, and as soon as I noticed he was developing
an interest in me, I decided to snoop on him via facebook as I was
wondering why he wasn't yet married. I saw a folder tagged wedding in
2011 and opened.

All the pictures had been deleted save one. His
wedding band was clear for all to see.
I'll try to make this short, because it is a long and winding story.
As soon as I saw that, I lost interest in him. A few weeks after that
he requested a date with me and that there was something important he
has to say. I also told him that there was equally something I wanted
to find out.

We fixed the date and he told me his story. He reconnected online with
a childhood friend of his sometime in 2011, they were friends before
she relocated to the US after secondary school. At that point he was
34 and really wanted to settle, so he told her, and according to him,
she started applying the pressure. Would call him from the US all the
time, profess love and all that. So he went along and proposed. They
didn't court at all. He went and did the trad in her place in absentia
as she gave consent over the phone.

The wedding date was fixed and throughout the period, not once did she
return. Due to her absence, he said he never attended marriage class
for a day in our Church, because I'm sure he would have been talked
out of it by our pastors.

Two weeks to the wedding, she breezed into the country with her dress
and ring (not the set of couple's ring, just 1 for her) and insisted
that's the one they must use. He saw some warning flags and chose to
ignore them (long story).

Well, he bought his own ring and they got married! Two weeks after,
she went back to the US and he hasn't set his eyes on her again since
then. She said if he wants to be with her, that he should relocate to
the US and this is a person that has a thriving office here in Nigeria
and was wondering which of them was supposed to do the relocation.

The matter on ground now, is that its been almost 2years of his sham
marriage to her. In a few months time, he'll be able to seek for an
annulment from Court (since my Church is licensed to wed couples under
the Marriage Act).
She has given her consent for the annulment as she said that the
marriage is what she regrets doing most in her life. He showed me
nasty messages on his phone she sent to him and all that.
Now he has said that its me he wants to marry.

He's 10 years older
than I am. Relating with him so far, I've found out that he's a very
nice person that was just unlucky in love. He's attentive, caring to a
fault and uses every opportunity to tell me how much he loves me.
Probably because of his experience, he treats me like an egg, and I
just have to say I want the moon and he'll give me. He has been
hinting on getting me a car for my 27th birthday and said that whether
I refuse to marry him or not he wants to spoil me.

My problem now is this, he had an elaborate wedding with her in my
Church, in fact a popular musician was at the reception. My family is
well known and respected in my Church, since its the same one we've
been attending since 1991. I've always had this dream of wedding in my
Church alter ever since I was little, I always said I don't mind
following the man to another Church afterwards.

This is for those that may say we can wed in another Church. I cringe
each time I imagine the tongues that will wag when it comes out that
I'm getting married to a divorcee. The same people that attended his
first marriage, won't they be the same people that will come again if
we decide to wed?

I'm quite attractive, so having suitors has never been an issue. My
last relationship with someone 1yr older than I am packed up after
6years and left me heartbroken as he isn't ready to settle down. Now,
this guy's age is an issue for me and also the issue of his paper
marriage.

I have other toasters now, but none so far is ready to settle down
soon and age really is no longer on my side, plus this guy's maturity
and attention has made other guys pale in comparison. If he didn't
have this past, I would have married him in a heartbeat despite the
age difference.

So far I've refused to give him a definite answer, and told him till
3months time when he has gotten the marriage annulled. My friends have
divided opinions. All are vehemently opposed to it and feel I'm too
beautiful to end up with someone like him, that I should wait and meet
a single young man without a past. Just one of my friends is in
support and has said if he really gets the annulment, she doesn't see
anything wrong with my marrying him.

In the meantime, he's steadily applying the pressure. I think I may
have started liking him a little.
I'm so confused, someone please help.

PS: I am a born again Christian and have been speaking to God about
the whole situation. I've not gotten a leading yet. I don't even know
the biblical standpoint of his divorce or anything. God bless you
all.